It started again today.
Overwhelming urges to do what I fear most.
It's so impossible to just forget about it, it's haunting.
Spins around me and taunts me like a little child.

People are starting to notice and it's not okay.
I wonder how much longer I can fake it..
Oh, how i wish this nightmare could end itself, because I sure as hell can't.
Fall, fall, fall.


It's such a wasteland down here.



When it's the first time in months it's exciting.
Chills comes easy.
Every muscle aches.
Illness quickly takes over, but it doesn't last long.
After a while, nothing feels anymore.
No touch can excite me.
Nothing can ignite me.

Day in and day out, everything is the same.
I can't even count on my hands how many it's been..
It's a mess of my life and everything spins.
And my friends start to wonder if I'm clinically fucked up.
It's a short lived option. But it's not true.
Simply a phase.
You just wish it was you.



If I had no one to come back to, I never would have left.
Simply because my pride makes me need.
Makes me want to be needed.
Packing up my bags and leaving this town is undesirable because you aren't here.
And so who would miss me if I was gone?

Come back so I can leave.
But make me never want to leave.