my insides come flowing out again, as i kneel over the toilet bowl.
i dont know what to say... and i dont know how to feel.

and again.

and im selfish for thinking this has anything to do with me,
it most certainly does not, but this is my sole reaction.
and tears run down my face for something i dont even understand,
or even want to think about.

and i rub my eyes dry, and try to console myself of something that makes no sense,
and dosent have anything to do with me, and probably never will.
splashing water on my face i look in to the mirror and realize im not at all who i though i was.
and you are not at all who i though you were... and to be honest i dont know if its good or the bad.
and i wish i could make everything just disappear for you, and make things right, "the past is nothing to dwell upon", i wish i could tell you and believe it myself.

and again.

completely blinde sighted with fear, i peel myself off the bathroom floor, and desperately search for the right words that may make things better for you.
but for once, nothing.
nothing in my whole mind would be the right thing...
and i run away from the screen that read the words you had told me at 12:34am.

and again.