As I sat in the back of the car, warm, salty tears violently streamed down my face. Tears with no weeping or reason, just streaming oceans. I sometimes wonder if anyone ever understand or feels anything I feel. It's so strange to cry for no reason, but still so painful. My heart feels like its going to combust from over exposure to my over emotional self. It's hard to imagine anyone but yourself in times of pain, really. Even in any times of extreme emotion, rage, jealousy, happiness.. most emotions always make you so self involved and absorbed, you acquire tunnel vision.
But when we aren't consumed by our own emotions, we want others to notice us and pay special attention, when they have their own feelings to fill their time up, where does time for anyone other than ourselves really come into play, or possibility?
I often wish horrible things upon myself, for sick reasons of vanity. How would it feel to have every one's every ounce of love, courage, pity, hope and sadness trust upon you? Would it take a terminal illness to be noticed. Surely it's not the case, but often in a world of self-involvement, it seems like the only option to get any means of attention.